6:00am… Today is Inauguration Day.  At 11am today, as provided by the 20th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, the terms of the President and Vice-President end and the terms of their successors begin.

6:18am… First Funny in the Morning!
George W. Bush Space Proposals That Weren’t Achieved!
· Launch satellites that could make big bunny shadows on the moon every night.
· Shoot 500 poor people into space every week until decent folks feel safe to walk at night again.
· ”Whatever we do, make sure those NASA guys have to say ‘Uranus’ a lot.  [*snicker*]“
· Drill for oil on the moon.  Sure, there’s probably none up there — but there aren’t any stupid environmentalist hippies up there either!
· Install a gigantic butt crack on the moon.  Aim at Democrats.
· ”We won’t stop exploring the Milky Way until we discover the secret of nougat.”

· Find that planet with them big talkin’ apes.

6:30am… President Bush is enjoying his last breakfast in the White House as President  – soon, President-Elect Barack Obama will be over (9:05am) for coffee. At about 10:45am, President Bush will depart the White House for the last time and the Obama movers will move in.  In just 6 short hours, the White House will be transformed from Bush to Obama — down to the toiletries.   The man in charge of the move?  The White House Usher.

6:47am… Take a look at the Poll Question on the front page of wnax.com.  The results at the moment?

How do you think Barack Obama will do as our new President? 

The right man at the right time 
   35% 
The wrong man at the wrong time 
   33% 
Bring back George W. 
   32% 

6:58am… If you don’t have access to a television at work, you can watch President Obama’s Inauguration from the front page of wnax.com on your computer.

7:04am… Police estimate that three million to four million people will be in Washington for today’s inauguration, compared with less than half a million in 2005. The Washington Mall will be open, with a huge screen showing the inauguration.  More than 8,000 police will take direction from the Secret Service.  Another 34,000 soldiers will be in the area.

Today’s inauguration promises to be one of historic proportions. It will likely have the largest number of television viewers in history, even more than the Super Bowl.

7:18am… Guess the Year!
· The Pentagon announces that an out-of-control, radioactive Soviet spy satellite crashed in the mid-Indian Ocean.
· A commission studying reform of the Social Security system recommends gradually raising the retirement age from 65 to 66.
· The final episode of “M*A*S*H” is filmed in on Stage 9 in Century City, California.
· NBA Championship: Philadelphia 76ers d. LA Lakers (4-0)
· Rock The Casbah, Clash

(The answer is at the bottom of the blog)

7:30am… Ten official balls, planned by the Presidential Inaugural Committee, will be held tonight and are the only ones that the Obamas and Bidens are guaranteed to attend.  Some of them include:
· Youth Inaugural Ball - Young Americans ages 18 to 35; Washington Hilton.

· Obama Home States Inaugural Ball - Illinois and Hawaii invited guests; Walter E. Washington Convention Center.
· Biden Home States Inaugural Ball - Delaware and Pennsylvania invited guests; Walter E. Washington Convention Center.
· Neighborhood Inaugural Ball - DC residents, additional guests; Walter E. Washington Convention Center.
· Commander-in-Chief’s Inaugural Ball — Enlisted active-duty and reserve military; National Building Museum.
BALLS THAT DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT . . . . . .
· Bush Family Ball - A Bush family party; George, Barb, George, Jebby, George, Will, George, George, Dick Cheney and friends.
· Illinois Senator Casino Ball - Past, present, jailed or free Illinois Senators gambling, dancing, and drinking event.
· So You Think You Can Ball - Past, present, & future basketball players get together for a skills challenge and dancing; Hosted by Charles Barkley.
· Trailer Parks n’ Rainbows Ball - Outdoor events and music for mind expanders and fine patriotic Americans.
· The Lucille Ball - Ball attended by members of the “I Love Lucy” Fan Club
· The Spicy Meat Ball -  Family members of the DC area’s “Waste Management” get together to discuss “matters of interest” with members of the new Cabinet.
· Green Card Ball - Non English speaking Americans’ eat, drink, and dance; Hosted by………   Ozzy Osbourne.

7:57am… Today in History
Speaking of Ozzy…  In 1982 he was hospitalized after biting the head off a dead bat thrown at him during a live performance in Des Moines. Ozzy thought it was plastic. He was later forced to undergo rabies shots.

8:04am… Col. Mark Tillman,  who flew President George W. Bush 1,675 times in Air Force One, will leave his position as pilot after flying the president home to Texas.

8:45am… Impossible Question
Nearly 70% of employees have one of these.  They were invented in the 60’s and are getting smaller and smaller.
Answer: Cubicles 

Winner: Daryl Hanzen from Doon, Iowa

Today is Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day.

SOME FAD DIETS THAT DIDN’T WORK …..
-  All Bacon, All the Time
-  I Know I’m Still Fat: The Star Jones Plan
-  Parasite in a Pill
-  Glue and Water Diet
-  A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Celery Sticks Go Down
-  The Daily Double Diarrhea Diet
-  The White Meat Mentos Diet
-  The Party ’til you Puke Supermodel Diet
-  Sleep Medication: If You’re Not Awake, You’re Not Eating
-  Husky Dog Weight-Control Formula
-  The Extreme  EX-Lax Diet
-  Contaminated Water Diet
 
Guess the Year Answer: 1983