FIRST blog of 2009… Did you have a good New Year’s Day?

6:18am…  First Funny in the Morning!

Signs Your Divorce Isn’t Going Well!
· Since his recent divorce, your lawyer has been using his car for an office.
· Your portion of the settlement so far: The Commodore 64, the Chia pets and the Wham! CD collection.
· In her search for hidden assets, your wife hires a proctologist.
· Spouse’s attorney constantly high-fiving judge.
· The judge rules that your support payments will be double until the Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
· Jeez, deposition after deposition — and you thought the whole point of this was so you didn’t have to listen to her yappin’ anymore.

6:30am… People reportedly paid Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston $300,000 for pictures of their newborn son Tripp.   Am not sure if her baby is all that attractive…

7:04am… FYI…Britney Spears’ New Years’ resolution: to stop biting her nails. (Which is kind of weird, because MY New Years’ resolution is to stop SPITTING them!)

7:12am… Today’s Fact: The only place evangelist Billy Graham has said his prayers are never answered is “on the golf course.”

7:30am… Atheists have filed a lawsuit before the U.S. District Court in DC to prevent president-elect Barack Obama from swearing to God as well as trying to prevent religious figures from saying prayers during the presidential inauguration.

I looked up the actual meaning of Atheist: A person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.

I don’t quite understand WHY they have a problem with someone else praying or putting their hand on a bible.  An atheist religous belief is……… NOTHING.  So they are, IN FACT, doing what they want to stop — which is pushing one’s religion onto another.  I guess I wouldn’t have a problem if THEY wanted to put their hand on a book with blank pages (remember, they don’t believe in anything), to take their oath.

8:18am… Sniffing something that smells good, such as fresh flowers or a fragrance you especially like, could make for pleasant dreams, according to a study from researchers… however, if the last thing you smell is something your partner just did… not so good.

8:45am… Impossible Question: 29% of Americans use two of these every day.  What are they?  Answer: Alarm Clocks Winner: Bonnie Reinders from Sioux Center, Iowa.

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