6:00am… Okay, I had a REALLY hard time getting out of bed this morning.  I sat up — and felt like I had just participated in a 15 round heavyweight fight (and THESE days they only go TWELVE rounds)! This afternoon, I think I hear a nap calling me……..  (Steve….. oh STEVE!)

6:12am… We sold out the Vikings Playoff Bus in 24-hours.  We put it on the air at 4pm Monday and had it FULL at 4pm yesterday.  RADIO works well — if you have a product people want and advertise it on wnax, you will be successful.

6:18am… First Funny in the Morning!
Signs You’re at a Bad New Year’s Eve Party!
· ”Party hats” look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones.
· The Amish can do many things well, but throwing parties ain’t one of them.

· You get there and it’s just you and Steve Imming.
· The noisemakers are drowned out by all the gunfire.
· You scream, “Happy New Year!” and the guy in the convenience store says, “Thanks, man.”
· The “Champagne” is really apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer.
· You notice a “Happy 2004″ tag on the package of shrimp you’ve been eating all night.
· The entertainment is a Tupperware demonstration.
· This’ll liven things up: “Let’s polka!”

7:04am… Ford announced that in 2010 they will introduce cars that can parallel park themselves. Listen: Park

7:12am… Funny or Not! (Warning: this segment could generally be offensive to those who are offended easily — lighten up please.)
The Roman emperor Commodus would collect all of the dwarfs, cripples, and freaks of the land and bring them to Rome.  He would then take them to the Coliseum, where they were ordered to fight each other to the death with meat cleavers.  I mean, in a WAY its funny……….. or NOT?

7:20am… What do you MEAN this isn’t New Year’s Day? Listen: New Years

7:57am… Today is History!
1991…The U.S. issued a patent (#5,076,262) to Brian Coffey of Portland, Oregon, for his Ear Flattening Device, tiny flexible pads with pressure-sensitive adhesive on both sides to stick behind a person’s ears to keep them from sticking out.

8:18am… What ELSE is Going on?
A study out of the University of Maryland found that Internet chatroom participants with user names like “Melissa” and “Cathy” received 25 times more threatening and sexually explicit private instant messages than those with male or ambiguous user names like “Brad” or “Stargazer.” Female users got attacked regardless of whether they were actively chatting or dead silent.

A Peruvian woman named Virgin Mary gave birth to a baby boy on Christmas that she named Jesus.  He’ll spend the rest of his life telling people, “No, I’m the OTHER one.”

Hallmark is recalling 7,000 jumbo snowman snow globes because if you put them in sunlight, they can act as magnifying glasses and set nearby things on fire. Can you imagine how disappointed you would be when you get a jumbo snowman for Christmas, only to find out what it can REALLY do?

Binghamton University student Shawn Goldsmith, has earned all 121 merit badges available as a Boy Scout.  And he did it just in time for his 18th birthday.  You only need to earn 21 badges to become an Eagle Scout.  To earn all 121 is extremely rare.  It took him over five years to accomplish this incredible feat.

SOME BADGES SHAWN STILL NEEDS TO EARN ……
-  Making Fart Sounds With Just Your Hands
-  Long Distance Spitting
-  Text While Walking
-  Going On A Date With A Girl Badge
-  The Seriously it is Time to Move on, Kid Badge
-  Live at Home Until You’re 40 Badge

8:45am… Impossible Question
40% of us wish we would have gotten one of THESE for Christmas.  What is it? Answer: A gift card Winner: Wendy Stiegelmier from Winner, South Dakota.

9:00am… Picture of the Day!